Sleepy "Monologues" #2

Good Evening again my dear readers!! *Maniacal laughter ensues* huh? Oh no this isn't meant to be spooky, I was just practicing my old-timey cartoon villain laughter... for unrelated reasons... Anyways my long distance girlfriend, Katie. and I reached the dreaded nighttime fork in the road, yet again, where we find ourselves having to choose between going to sleep or pushing forward in our drowsy dispositions and continue hanging out because we love each other's company, and as is typical of us, we again chose the latter, birthing a new chapter in "Sleepy Monologues";

Topic of the Evening
Children: Past, Imaginary Present, and in the Twisted Future

The discussion was birthed as any other, by rambling about our past experiences. This evening my girl was mentioning her past with her ass of an ex and his child, and how she eventually took custody for him for a temporary time ( I won't go into any further details), however this moment of reminiscence sparked the conversation of children whom we have taken care of and why we may or may not want children in our future;

Luis (Me): "Yeah, you basically have already had a son if that's the case, I don't know what I would do if my child and I found out."

Katie: "Yeah it's hard to think about... wait your child? If you already had a secret kid with someone else, I'd break up with you!!" 

Luis: "Whoa hey now, it's not what you think, he's just with me, but he isn't mine we are only together because of circumstance..."

Katie: "Lol, what are you even saying, it doesn't matter, I'd still be mad."

Luis: "No, no, listen, me and Lil' Hans Jorgen--(interrupted)"

Katie: "What's with that name??"

Luis: "He's German Babe!!"

Katie: "I don't care what he is, I don't get what you are talking about..."

Luis: "Listen, what if this kid I was with, this little Hans Jorgen, was given to me because his parents were gone. Let's say his dad died in the war, and his mom was in that show, 90 day Fiance, and she brought her son with her, now the 90 days were almost up and it didn't seem like she'd get to marry her sweetheart and there for was forced to leave the country accidentally leaving her child behind!!! "

Katie: "I don't care! Why would that put him in your responsibility anyway, the mom should have been more responsible! I don't want to talk about this anymore..."

Luis: "No, Babe, Listen, he was in a terrible accident and he wouldn't get out of the hospital until his mom already left!"

Katie: "So? Why do you have to take care of this baby? I don't get it. Just put him up for adoption, there are plenty of families who would want him."

Luis: "Babe he's got a family, and besides who said he was a defenseless baby??"

Katie: "Well how old is he then? I mean that shouldn't be the issue anyways."

Luis: "17..."

Katie: "WHAT!? Then he's old enough to move out and find his own way, or even go back to Germany!!! Sheesh Babe!"

Luis: "You didn't let me finish, 17 months old..."

Katie: "What? So he is a Baby, then he's not a Baby... ugh... I don't want to deal with him haha."

Luis: "Well, to be honest there's a special reason why I can't just abandon Lil Hans Jorgen..."

Katie: "Babe yes you can, he is not your kid, send him back to his mother in Germany."

Luis: "I wish I could but you see, the reason he is with me is because of the terrible accident I mentioned before. On the last day of 90 day Fiance where his mother was forcibly being taken away by the authorities, Lil 6 year old--(Interrupted)"

Katie: "He's 6 now?"

Luis: "Lol let me finish, it'll all make sense, anyhow lil' 6 year old Hans Jorgen, rushed away from his mother's side when he heard an ice cream truck approaching, the hypnotizing tune from the truck attracts many a people, myself included. Well one of the speeding truck's tires exploded (must've been some rocky road lololol; I didn't say this at the time but I should have.) and the truck flipped over the crowd of people and hit me into Lil Hans Jorgen, sending us both to the emergency room. Seeing as he had no documentation or closeby residents his care was thrust upon me. Little did I know he had fractured his agedula (totally real organ btw) which causes him to wake up each day a different age!!"

Katie: "What are you talking about? I was just upset at the possibility of you having kept a kid secret from me, now you are just being weird!!"

Luis: "No, no see, since he wakes up a different age everyday we can't put him up for adoption as we don't know what he will be! A toddler, and elder, a teen!!! I mean he could wake up and be 95 years old tomorrow!"

Katie: "Ok then he can work and learn to do things since he will be like 14 the next day no? Just get him to learn skills that he can use during the days that he is older... This is so stupid, why doesn't he just go home..? Where did this even take place, this is all very irresponsible."

Luis: "Umm Iceland..?"

Katie: "You don't even know what you are talking about, the point is this man child would be a great burden on our relationship, now I'm not saying I wouldn't take care of a kid if he had no one else in this world, you know that, but he does, his mother should be responsible and come back for him, or at least get the authorities involved to send him back."

Luis: "Babe, dont you get it? Little Hans Jorgen is a metaphor for the budding relationship! Think about it, he is found in Iceland, which is like any potential partner, deceptive from the start as a cold unknown, but once you get to know them, you find out they are warmer than the other potential Greenland mates which are just putting on a facade. The ice cream truck accident is like that shock factor every relationship goes into, maybe it's the first 'I love you' or the first 'Kiss'; regardless of the cause positive or negative relationships have impactful moments, and just like Hans' bruised agedula, one's partner's mood may also fluctuate depending on the impact of said possible events."

Katie: "What are you even talking about?? You are just making more and more excuses and making me seem like a mean person, just go to sleep hahaha. Also I'm done with this, don't mention that kid again."

We kept going on about old annoyances and inside jokes for a while, as well as a mini hate speech towards the Miracle Fold by my girlfriend (I'll get into that another day) until we eventually fell asleep.

Seriously this girl is so acceptable of my weirdness, how could it not be love?

So with that said and done I will again leave you all with your undoubtedly puzzled minds haha! If you liked this nonsense let me know and I will keep making more like this, if you don't well, meh I'll probably still continue to make more, and if you have any of your own sleepy time gibberish, I would love to hear it.

Much Love,

Wachi

Sleepy "Monologues"

Good Evening my sleepy time readers *thunder clashes in the background* huh? Oh no this isn't meant to be spooky, there's an actual storm, *ahem* where was I? Oh yes, good evening readers; as you may know I am in an LDR (Long Distance Relationship), that said I Skype my girl quite a bit, and sometimes, we talk until very late at night, until the sleepiness overtakes our brains and makes us more nonsensical than usual; when this happens we reach a crossroads, should we go to sleep or push forward in our drowsy dispositions and continue hanging out because we love each other's company, typically we choose the second one and I wanted to start this possible new series called "Sleepy Monologues" as that's usually what we spout when we find ourselves in this sleepy love-imbued trance of nonsense. Therefore, I wanted to document the topics we discussed to see if people are truly more philosophical when sleep deprived, here's what we got!!

Topic # 1
Our first date/How we view Dating

Luis (Me): "Babe, that's easy, our first day is not one night it's the whole trip (NOTE: I will be visiting my girl for the first time in 12 days!!) we have had so many virtual dates we kind of murdered the generic date scenario where the couple tries to interview each other by one-upping or impressing each other in subtle ways, we are past that, so I think just spending real time together throughout the trip will be in a way a giant first date. But, C'mon, let's be honest, dinner dates and romantic walks are fun and will have their time, but don't couples want to reach the point where dates are just Netflix in our underwear while we order in? That extreme comfort level shared with the person you fancy?"

Katie (Girlfriend): "YEAH!! Good Point"

Luis: "Well what about you Babe,what are your thoughts?"

Katie: "You know, it's so simple, our first date will simply be defined as our time together, like you said, but a date should just be taking time, where we just focus on one another, time dedicated for us and us alone, forging our relationship, that simple..."

Luis: "Well just you and me is great! But I also got to meet your friends and fam while I am there, don't forget *YAWN*"

Katie: "OMG, they will already like you, and I love Linda (her friend) she's the best and she already thinks you are funny...*nonsensical laughs and mumbles* Oh, hey what do you think about people who don't string their string cheese?"

Topic # 2
String Cheese Consumption

Luis: "Ugh. My mom doesn't string her string cheese!! It's like super annoying, like it is called STRING cheese for a reason, not stick cheese on the go, or bite cheese.... Like seriously, and I have called her out on it but she justifies her lack of stringing from being too hungry... like what?? It's like people who pour water into a glass and then choose to drink it out of a straw, like what is the matter with you, you know? I get that some water bottles have straw like tops, so you suck on those, it's what they do, but like to choose to slurp water out of a bendy straw... NO, just no, it's just like not stringing the string cheese, it's not natural..."

Katie: (laughs) "You dork, I feel like you take this too seriously, but I agree, string cheese, is called string cheese for a reason, and unless you are starving can can't find the strength to string it, then you really have no excuse to not string it."

Luis: "...I mean if you are hungry then make bigger string pieces then, it's possible, such a waste of string cheese when it is eaten so wrong..."

Katie: "Well yeah, but it can't be helped, speaking of waste however, do you recycle?"

Topic # 3
Recycling

Luis: "Hmmm... Well I used to back when I lived in Virginia, my mom and I had bought recycling bins and recycled pretty responsibly, it was nice, and not a troublesome task, that and it helps the environment, so no real downside. Now, however, in Costa Rica, we don't seem to have a legit recycling truck that comes by, I mean I personally still sort the plastic from the other miscellaneous trash, but without a proper recycling program it's hard to tell if they are properly recycled once picked up or not... To be honest, I do feel it is important to conserve our world's resources, I mean I'd hate to live in a world where it is so polluted that we need to depend on Captain Planet's help."

Katie: "Haha, what do you mean?"

Luis: "You know Captain Planet, the people of the world get so irresponsible with its upkeep that mother nature herself calls upon 5 kids to clean up and summon Captain Planet... but he is annoying as all heck, and the kids or Planeteers aren't much better... What worries me more though is the powers they are assigned, like why is the hot headed American fire? Won't that start more wars, he can make fire and explosion, that's not cool, and then there's the 2 women the Asian and the ummm Australian(?) I think..? Anyhow I can't remember who is wind and who is water, but I think the Asian was water because they have tsunamis and eat sushi... because Cap. Planet is racist, maybe, so the Australian is wind because of...uhhh reasons. Following up we have the African teen, who is earth, because earth is brown one might say I don't know, the point is these are dangerous things in a Captain Planet ruled world where we weren't careful with recycling."

Katie: "Oh?"

Luis: "But that's not the worst part, the worst part is that South American youth with the comic relief monkey, his power is heart, which makes people love or something, now imagine they aren't all together to summon their precious captain, at least the other 4 can hold their own through the power of nature, but this heart kid, he would just give too much love to all these thugs which could then result into lust and then rape, he is creating over zealous future rapists, this is a problem!!  So racism, war, and now rape all will explode into every corner of the earth all because we didn't recycle!! This, this is why I recycle!!"

Katie: "Hahaha I feel you really put way too much thought into this Babe, I personally recycle to give myself and by extension others a better life, I even cut up those plastic six pack thingies so that I can protect Free Willy!!"

Luis: "Hahaha, Just Free Willy?? So screw all the other Orcas?"

Katie: "Yeah, because Free Willy can do tricks, the others can't, if they wanted to be saved from faulty recyclables they should have gotten themselves caught in fishing nets to be trained too, too bad for them I say"

Luis: "That is so weird, I had no idea that you had such a high affinity towards Willy from Free Willy..."

Katie: "Yeah, I looooooove him, I bought the 3rd movie on VHS and got a compass, I hated it, because it always points North and it was always north, everywhere was North I don't get how they work... So frustrating!!"

Luis: "Yeah, I feel compasses are abusive towards us, they get us lost on purpose so that we become dependent on them, it's like a twisted self inflicted Stockholm syndrome, so evil."

Katie: "Yeah but it had cute silver whales on the back!"

Luis "Oh, I guess that's ok..."

After these 3 topics, though not exclusively "monologues" per say, we just got slower and less cohesive until we fell asleep. Personally I love these dorky moments of sleepiness and if we continue to have them I'll try to continue to document them.

Every night with this girl is a memorable one <3

So with that said and done I will leave you all with your no doubt puzzled expressions, haha! If you liked this nonsense let me know and I will keep making more like this, if you don't well, meh I'll probably still make more, and if you have any of your own sleepy time gibberish, I would love to hear it.

Much Love,

Wachi