Sleepy "Monologues" #2

Good Evening again my dear readers!! *Maniacal laughter ensues* huh? Oh no this isn't meant to be spooky, I was just practicing my old-timey cartoon villain laughter... for unrelated reasons... Anyways my long distance girlfriend, Katie. and I reached the dreaded nighttime fork in the road, yet again, where we find ourselves having to choose between going to sleep or pushing forward in our drowsy dispositions and continue hanging out because we love each other's company, and as is typical of us, we again chose the latter, birthing a new chapter in "Sleepy Monologues";

Topic of the Evening
Children: Past, Imaginary Present, and in the Twisted Future

The discussion was birthed as any other, by rambling about our past experiences. This evening my girl was mentioning her past with her ass of an ex and his child, and how she eventually took custody for him for a temporary time ( I won't go into any further details), however this moment of reminiscence sparked the conversation of children whom we have taken care of and why we may or may not want children in our future;

Luis (Me): "Yeah, you basically have already had a son if that's the case, I don't know what I would do if my child and I found out."

Katie: "Yeah it's hard to think about... wait your child? If you already had a secret kid with someone else, I'd break up with you!!" 

Luis: "Whoa hey now, it's not what you think, he's just with me, but he isn't mine we are only together because of circumstance..."

Katie: "Lol, what are you even saying, it doesn't matter, I'd still be mad."

Luis: "No, no, listen, me and Lil' Hans Jorgen--(interrupted)"

Katie: "What's with that name??"

Luis: "He's German Babe!!"

Katie: "I don't care what he is, I don't get what you are talking about..."

Luis: "Listen, what if this kid I was with, this little Hans Jorgen, was given to me because his parents were gone. Let's say his dad died in the war, and his mom was in that show, 90 day Fiance, and she brought her son with her, now the 90 days were almost up and it didn't seem like she'd get to marry her sweetheart and there for was forced to leave the country accidentally leaving her child behind!!! "

Katie: "I don't care! Why would that put him in your responsibility anyway, the mom should have been more responsible! I don't want to talk about this anymore..."

Luis: "No, Babe, Listen, he was in a terrible accident and he wouldn't get out of the hospital until his mom already left!"

Katie: "So? Why do you have to take care of this baby? I don't get it. Just put him up for adoption, there are plenty of families who would want him."

Luis: "Babe he's got a family, and besides who said he was a defenseless baby??"

Katie: "Well how old is he then? I mean that shouldn't be the issue anyways."

Luis: "17..."

Katie: "WHAT!? Then he's old enough to move out and find his own way, or even go back to Germany!!! Sheesh Babe!"

Luis: "You didn't let me finish, 17 months old..."

Katie: "What? So he is a Baby, then he's not a Baby... ugh... I don't want to deal with him haha."

Luis: "Well, to be honest there's a special reason why I can't just abandon Lil Hans Jorgen..."

Katie: "Babe yes you can, he is not your kid, send him back to his mother in Germany."

Luis: "I wish I could but you see, the reason he is with me is because of the terrible accident I mentioned before. On the last day of 90 day Fiance where his mother was forcibly being taken away by the authorities, Lil 6 year old--(Interrupted)"

Katie: "He's 6 now?"

Luis: "Lol let me finish, it'll all make sense, anyhow lil' 6 year old Hans Jorgen, rushed away from his mother's side when he heard an ice cream truck approaching, the hypnotizing tune from the truck attracts many a people, myself included. Well one of the speeding truck's tires exploded (must've been some rocky road lololol; I didn't say this at the time but I should have.) and the truck flipped over the crowd of people and hit me into Lil Hans Jorgen, sending us both to the emergency room. Seeing as he had no documentation or closeby residents his care was thrust upon me. Little did I know he had fractured his agedula (totally real organ btw) which causes him to wake up each day a different age!!"

Katie: "What are you talking about? I was just upset at the possibility of you having kept a kid secret from me, now you are just being weird!!"

Luis: "No, no see, since he wakes up a different age everyday we can't put him up for adoption as we don't know what he will be! A toddler, and elder, a teen!!! I mean he could wake up and be 95 years old tomorrow!"

Katie: "Ok then he can work and learn to do things since he will be like 14 the next day no? Just get him to learn skills that he can use during the days that he is older... This is so stupid, why doesn't he just go home..? Where did this even take place, this is all very irresponsible."

Luis: "Umm Iceland..?"

Katie: "You don't even know what you are talking about, the point is this man child would be a great burden on our relationship, now I'm not saying I wouldn't take care of a kid if he had no one else in this world, you know that, but he does, his mother should be responsible and come back for him, or at least get the authorities involved to send him back."

Luis: "Babe, dont you get it? Little Hans Jorgen is a metaphor for the budding relationship! Think about it, he is found in Iceland, which is like any potential partner, deceptive from the start as a cold unknown, but once you get to know them, you find out they are warmer than the other potential Greenland mates which are just putting on a facade. The ice cream truck accident is like that shock factor every relationship goes into, maybe it's the first 'I love you' or the first 'Kiss'; regardless of the cause positive or negative relationships have impactful moments, and just like Hans' bruised agedula, one's partner's mood may also fluctuate depending on the impact of said possible events."

Katie: "What are you even talking about?? You are just making more and more excuses and making me seem like a mean person, just go to sleep hahaha. Also I'm done with this, don't mention that kid again."

We kept going on about old annoyances and inside jokes for a while, as well as a mini hate speech towards the Miracle Fold by my girlfriend (I'll get into that another day) until we eventually fell asleep.

Seriously this girl is so acceptable of my weirdness, how could it not be love?

So with that said and done I will again leave you all with your undoubtedly puzzled minds haha! If you liked this nonsense let me know and I will keep making more like this, if you don't well, meh I'll probably still continue to make more, and if you have any of your own sleepy time gibberish, I would love to hear it.

Much Love,

Wachi